The First Installment - A Safeway Story

Every time Jordana and I hit our local Safeway for groceries, we immediately know we're not in Kansas -- or Virginia -- any more. Our first visit included an episode with a local Southwester of 25 years erupting in line because the security guard looked at him in the wrong way. My visit this past Saturday seemed like it just might go off without a hitch before I got into line. That is where it always happens. Although sometimes the entrance can be interesting. Sometimes there's a homeless person; other times there are men just hanging around making comments as women enter and leave. It's always an adventure and introduction to city living. That is DC living. So, I was waiting to check out with my myriad baking supplies, standing behind a Caucasian woman who seemed to be an urbanite and a really, really old couple who were quite hilarious to observe. The older man didn't realize his wife had run off with the groceries while he was paying. The urbanite woman in front of me decided to try to joke around a little with him, telling him, "No, those are my groceries. You can't have 'em." She then turned to me, "Oh, I hope I didn't scare the old guy". He slowly noticed his wife out of the corner of his eye and putting one foot in front of the other made his way over to her. In the meantime I shared a cute laugh with the urbanite about how lovely this couple was and discussed how we both wished we would some day be like them. Next comes an interruption: some young thing with heels and a tight skirt wanted a price check. She gets in the way of the urbanite and the urbanite didn't much like it. So the urbanite decided to bump her and starts speaking in some urban lingo, dropping the slang. Hmmmm, I wonder what will be coming out of my month in a few months?