Cold October Thoughts

I walked a mile with Pleasure, 

She chattered all the way; 

But left me none the wiser

For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow, 

And ne'er a word said she;

But, oh, the things I learned from her

When sorrow walked with me. 


Robert Browning Hamilton

I've cautioned myself against it, but I can't help remembering where I was a year ago this week. Last year at this time I was in Madison, Wisconsin, the land of cheese heads. It wasn't your average family get together, but one that left my life and the lives of my family members forever changed. 

By the grace of God, I hopped not one, but 4 different flights, getting the last seat on each aircraft to get to Madison with the hope of seeing my father who had been hospitalized and in intensive care after traveling to visit my brother Mark. Despite receiving a clean cancer scan 2 1/2 months earlier, Dad's mantle cell lymphoma returned for a final curtain call. As Dad put it once they were able to extubate him, "this disease is vicious."  

The chilly air tonight and fall foliage transported me back in time. Autumn used to symbolize fun, happy, good times: the World Series, the return of high school, college, and NFL football, swim season, and hot chocolate. Despite living overseas, as soon as I see orange and feel a certain crispness in the air, I pull out my sweaters and warmer clothing with a sense of nostalgia, remembering the good old days of my youth... of blissful ignorance.

October and November have new significance for me. I'm reminded that as the seasons change, so is life constantly changing.  According to the Book of Ecclesiastes, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to hear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). The author of Ecclesiastes also tells us God has set eternity in the hearts of men (v 10). Our hearts ache for a reason.   

Sorrow has accompanied me on much of life's journey this past year. She's not your usual first pick as a travel companion. But her work is good and purposeful. 

PS: Sorry for the absence, but the last 4-5 weeks have been insanely busy. My mom was here for a full month. Between work and Mom, a free minute was hard to find. I'm pretty sure I was running high on adrenalin during that time. Since delivering Mom to the airport and helping her check in her uber-heavy luggage, I've been catching my breath.